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Love at first sight?

Do you think that love has a general defintion which everybody agrees with? And do you think, that you have to be in love before you decide to marry someone? Well, the majority of the western people would answer with 'yes' but indians don't think so. "In India marriage comes first, then love, whereas in a western love relationship marriage often is the end of love". For indians this quote is totally normal as well as arranged marriages. People in india don't search their future partner on their own, mostly the parents do it with success(?). They don't know each other for more than one day though they decide to marry that person and to live the rest of their life together. Maybe this idea is not as bad as the most people in the west think. Our parents know their children better then others do, they know what is the best for us and they also want the best for us. A lot of people would say that parents do to always know their children better then others because they might have conflicts in their family or something alike but there is also to say that these marriages are not forced. The children take the biggest part in an arranged mariage cuz if they're not agreed with the partner which the parents have chosen than the parents also can't force them to marry nevertheless. If we compare the rate of divorce in europe or america with the rate of divorce in india you can see that the rate in the west is a lot higher then in india. If you are in a relationship you already know the person from memory but indians start to know each other after mariage. I think this makes everything more interesting. You don't know each other though you take the risk and choose to live the rest of your life with a 'stranger'. Everyone has a different opinion of this tradition and thats why i think that everyone should decide on their own if they would dare theirself to mary someone which their parents choose. -valentina
24.12.14 21:29


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What ist the end of love - Arranged marriages or love marriages ?

" In India marriage comes first, the love, whereas in a Western love relationships marriages often is the end of love". This is a typicall statement of Indian people in respect of protecting their arranged marriages from reviewers.

In India the process of marriag is differant to the Western process. The westen people fist get to know each other, then, if there is harmony and concern, they fall in love and they begin a frequently long realationship. At the end usually at the age of 20-30 years they get married if they want to.

In contrast in India the woman or the man gives notice to her or his parents that he or she wants to get married. Then it is teh parent's task to find a in their opinion goog bride or fiance. If this person is found the parents arrange the first meeting of the couple with their families, where they can get to know each other for the first time and after this meeting they have to decide if they approve of the marriage.

My opinion of arranged marriages is negative, because none can attest if it really comes to real love and if they are happy through their arranged marriage. I have heard many times in documentations about India that women are treatend badly differant as men and so they are often scared to contradict to their parents and marry a man they did not like. Futhermore i think people should have time to know each other, because sometimes it takes a while to finde out if it is real love or just good friends. Or did you ever see someone without talk to him/her and said: " Hey i want to marry you! ".

It is true that in the last time the rate of divorces in Western but this is the reason of the mordern human development. Today woman and man are not depended on each other, the woman can also earn money and the man knows how to keep the budget and so it is easier to seperate instead of trying to hold together sadly...But this is not the only reason. Sometimes people recognize that they do not fix together or they begin to live apart and decide to divorce.

In India arranged marriage is an old tradition and like i just said sometime the couple is scared to say something against their family because of holdin hornor or something else and if this fear would not be i would be sure that they would be more divorces. 

Of course they are arranged marriages, which have a good lovely ending but i would rather surch my fiance on my own, because i have to love and live with him and not my parents. Finally everyone knows best on his own who fix to himself. Isn't it ?

 

Alice Neumann 

21.3.15 18:24


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